Silence

I know you are shocked and amazed right now...you did not have to wait a month before I wrote an update.  So since you already know what is up with my life I will get right into the new info.

So this last Friday was a very interesting day for me.  I have been in a class where we are studying Spiritual Practices and Tradition of the Christian church.  So we have looked at St Patrick, St Francis, and many others.  One thing that has been common among all the people that we have looked at so far has been they take long periods of silence to pray and hear from God.  So we were going to do the same!

So on Friday we went to Mater Dolarosa which is a monastery in the next town over.  We arrived at 9am, and knew that it would be a long day!  We were told that this was going to be a silent retreat, and we could only talk if we felt we had too.  We were given some basic instructions of where things on the ground were and then we started.  The monastery had some things set up to help people pray through some things, and also just lovely grounds to enjoy nature.

I started praying and walking through their Stations for the Cross.  I took my time trying to hear from God, and was feeling silence.  I started to feel frustrated.  Why had I come out there if I was not going to hear anything.  Then the next thing that happened made me even more frustrated.  I started to feel extremely weak.  I hit a point that I did not even think I could stand.  I kept praying and asking why God was doing this.

I finally got sat down in the grass.  Then the word WEAKNESS kept coming to my head.  I kinda hate that word.  I never like feeling weak.  I know that everyone is not a big fan, but it is something that I will avoid at all cost.  I feel like I have to be the strong one in most situations(even though I am not).  I hate feeling like I don't have the answers to questions.

So I started to pray, and looking into the Word about what the Lord said about weakness.  I was sure that I was going to find that weakness was bad, and that I should do everything to get rid of it.  Instead I found the opposite.  I found so many verses that talked about weakness as a way to show the Lord to the world.  It was this mind blowing thing that this whole time I had been fighting against weakness and now the Lord was saying it is OK to be weak.  So now I am having to let go of my desire to always be strong.  Once I started praying and asking for the Lord's help I felt fine again, and in fact walked around for most of the rest of the day.

This has been a great week, and I am glad that the Lord had such a great message for me!  Thanks for reading and caring for me!  

Oh the Honey Badger!

So right now I am sitting at a cafe called the Honey Badger.  I am suppose to be studying with some of my friends...but as you can see that is not happening.  I realized that I have not updated in a while, and so what is the best way to not do homework...do something else.  So here is an update on my life and where I am right now.

So the last time that I posted I was getting ready to move, and summer school was in full swing.  So I have moved into my new apartment!  I am loving it, and it is nice to have roomies around.  I am still getting used to having to think about my stuff being everywhere is not cool with roomies.  I have been pretty clean and am pretty surprised with myself.  I moved in about a month ago...wow how time flies...since then I have gotten almost everything unpacked and already had my first visitors.  Mellissa and JR Webster came to visit me for an evening on their way to San Diego.  It was nice to see some Oklahoman faces!  I have also gotten to start to think about decorating a new space.  I will try to post pictures sometime of the finished product.

I have also gotten a new job.  I am still working at Office Max, but I am now also working at my church.  I am a youth intern.  A friend and I will be running the youth group together.  It is a small stipend to help with a little bit of cost, but that is not what it is about.  I am getting to help these students see more about God and who they can be in God.  So now we are in full planning mode to get events going for our students.

I am also almost done with summer classes.  In two weeks I will go to my final class session and then just have work to turn in to my professors.  It is weird to think that in less than a month I will have my 1 year anniversary of moving to Pasadena.  It has been a huge adventure, but one that I would gladly do again if I had to to go back in time.  I have loved getting to see what God has in this next year, which will hopefully be my final year in Grad school! The classes I have ahead of me will be super challenging, but I am excited and ready for them.

Thanks for reading and I hope you have a great day!