So right now I am sitting in my last class on the Pasadena campus of Fuller Theological Seminary. I have spent the last two years running around sometimes like a chicken with my head cut off. I have pushed myself to the edge at time, and then had some loving friends shove me away from that edge.
The class that I am sitting in is the Capstone course for my program, so it is the summation of everything that I have learned. It is interesting to see how far the thoughts I have had about God have changed over the last few years. (disclaimer: I still know and trust God, and all my new thoughts are extremely Biblical)
In much of my life I have had a very small view of God enough though I have seen God move in such mighty ways. I in some degree have felt that I could control situations better than God could. I would say that I was trusting Him, but then in truth I was leaning on the things that I knew. I just thought that I was giving my all so that any situation I was in would work out.
In the last few years God has lovingly put things in my path to prove me wrong. Nothing he put there was super overwhelming, but it was just enough to push my buttons of control. I needed to be reminded that I did not have the ability to fix anything on this Earth without the power of God in me. This brings me to a new truth that I am having to cling onto: "I cannot fix things, only creator God can fix his Creations."
I am having to remind me that I am walking in the light of God, and not the light of Mel. When I try to walk in the light of Mel then I always find myself at the edge trying to not fall off. At that time I normally run directly to God and start freaking out that I am feeling alone and lost. However God was there the whole time standing with me. He allowed me to walk somewhat blinded, but always with a buffer of protection from Him. Sometimes that buffer was my friends that kept me in line with God, or sometimes it was those times of suffering that brought me back.
I have been so challenge by this idea. I love that God has always brought people into my life to show me more of God's love for me. I know that I still have tons to learn, and know that I will be learning the rest of my life. I am so excited to say that I am loving God even more daily, and walking more boldly and confidently in Him.
The class that I am sitting in is the Capstone course for my program, so it is the summation of everything that I have learned. It is interesting to see how far the thoughts I have had about God have changed over the last few years. (disclaimer: I still know and trust God, and all my new thoughts are extremely Biblical)
In much of my life I have had a very small view of God enough though I have seen God move in such mighty ways. I in some degree have felt that I could control situations better than God could. I would say that I was trusting Him, but then in truth I was leaning on the things that I knew. I just thought that I was giving my all so that any situation I was in would work out.
In the last few years God has lovingly put things in my path to prove me wrong. Nothing he put there was super overwhelming, but it was just enough to push my buttons of control. I needed to be reminded that I did not have the ability to fix anything on this Earth without the power of God in me. This brings me to a new truth that I am having to cling onto: "I cannot fix things, only creator God can fix his Creations."
I am having to remind me that I am walking in the light of God, and not the light of Mel. When I try to walk in the light of Mel then I always find myself at the edge trying to not fall off. At that time I normally run directly to God and start freaking out that I am feeling alone and lost. However God was there the whole time standing with me. He allowed me to walk somewhat blinded, but always with a buffer of protection from Him. Sometimes that buffer was my friends that kept me in line with God, or sometimes it was those times of suffering that brought me back.
I have been so challenge by this idea. I love that God has always brought people into my life to show me more of God's love for me. I know that I still have tons to learn, and know that I will be learning the rest of my life. I am so excited to say that I am loving God even more daily, and walking more boldly and confidently in Him.
So here is a photo of some of my friends I am graduating with, and that have fed into my life.
Thank you for being willing to read my musings, and sometimes my ramblings in life. I am excited to be finishing my last quarter on campus, and then I will officially finish next quarter after my time in South Asia. I will then be seeing God move in great ways.
