"Don't blame us...blame the consumer"

Be prepared....here come a bit of a rant!


Ok so the title of this blog post is something that I actually heard said at a meeting for my work.  I just found out this week that I will be working on Thanksgiving Day and Black Friday.  I don't have to go in til the evening on Thanksgiving and in the afternoon on Black Friday  but still.  I just don't understand this mentality that we have to spend all kinds of money on gift that most people will not use that often.

I think another thing that I have heard lately that interest me is that on Thanksgiving we spend all day saying what it is we are thankful for, but then we spend that night being greedy and mean hearted.  Now I know this is not everyone, but really it is a large number of people.  Why oh why must we be so concerned with keeping up with the latest trends and toys.  Just by the fact that we are called consumers show that all we do is consume.  We are constantly trying to consume more of what is around us.  This covers a wide gambit of things, but just stuff in general.

I know that for some families this is part of their Thanksgiving traditions, but in the end would it be better to be home enjoying company?  I just don't understand this mentality in any way shape or form.  I know that some people will say that "well I am doing it to save money", but is that the real reason?  Or is the reason that we cannot stand to think that someone else got the better deal on the same product?

 I just think that this idea that we have to get the best deal sometimes is rooted in greed.  "I want the best product for the cheapest price!"  I believe that as American's specifically we have gotten so used to the fact that we can get anything and everything when we want it, that we feel that we have the right to want it cheap. I think sometimes that in this desire to want it cheap we forget to look at the cost for that cheap item.  So like these sales at Thanksgiving, while people are making the conscious choice to go shopping; the people working at that shops have no choice.  At my work, it is next to impossible to get Thanksgiving and Black Friday off.  I am pretty sure I would have to die, or someone close to me die to not have to work.  So while the consumer is getting savings, the employees are missing out of family time.

I think my challenge to all is look at why we are choosing to shop on Thrifty Thanksgiving(my own term) and Black Friday.  Is that savings really worth it?  The consumer is the one that tells the stores if they should be open or not.  If consumers demand it, the companies will gladly supply.  Could we as a people give up on our own desire to have what we want for the price we want, so that others may enjoy the Holiday time with their family and friends?

Sorry for the rant!  I just get going sometimes, and need to get it out.  I hope you all have a blessed holiday season, and know that if you still choose to go shopping on these days I don't think you are a bad person.  I love you all, and hope that my rant has given some food for thought if nothing else.

And your middle name is insanity right?

So today I was talking to a fellow student about our schedules.  When he heard my schedule he asked "and your middle name is insanity right?"  I know that I take on a fair bit, but I guess that I just never notice that I am pushing myself.  I think that it has just always been a piece of my life.  Just so that you guys understand why this comment was made I will give you a brief overview of my schedule.

per week work hours=15
per week class/homework hours=36
per week meeting/intern hours=15
Total =66 hour week(with some changes week to week)

When this schedule was brought to my attention at first I kept thinking that is not that bad, but as the weeks pushed on I started to realize how much work this is.  I often feel like I maybe pushing myself too far.  Then all of a sudden I realize that even though I am tired at times, I still normally have enough energy to keep pushing me forward.  I truly believe that is God, because there is no way that I could have this energy without him.

I love to see the way that the Father provides at times, because of course our normal idea would be that he took away some of the activities so that I have time to rest more.  However his method of providing is in the way of energy.  Also he provides people that can encourage me, and to check on me when I feel like I cannot push anymore.  There are times that I do think that it would just be easier to take things off my plate, but I know that these are all things that the Lord has asked of me.  If I stay in him then I will be able to keep moving toward the work of the Lord.

I think that it is just amazing that the Lord has great knowledge to know what we need and when we need it.  This is something that we have to remember because if we don't it is easy to get pushed down into the darkness of the world.  Even if you plan looks great on paper, if God's plan is different than yours...you should go with his.  I have to remind myself of that daily, that fight God is never a good plan.

Youth Retreat!

So if you have not heard yet I am now interning at my church as a youth leader!  I am getting to work with my awesome friend Steph Obad, and with some awesome students.  Our youth group is mainly Jr High boys so it just makes it an interesting group.  Well this last weekend we took them on the first ever youth retreat.

We decided to go to Steph's parents house which is 5 hrs North of LA.  They live on a cattle ranch, and let us camp out in their pasture.  For some of our kids it was their was a very new experience to camp, and for most it was the first time they had spent time on a ranch.  We were glad to get them out of their norm, and to help with that we banned all electronics from the trip(except for sponsors' phones)

We did the whole camping experience including smores and worship around a bonfire.  On Saturday, we had a friend of Steph and I come to work with the kids and Steph's horse.  This friend has a ministry that she works with horses and kids to help them understand more about God.  It also helped them understand more about themselves.

In this retreat, Steph and I wanted to start having the kids learn more about their identity in God, and that they are image bearers of God.  Our kids seemed to get it at least some, and we just pray that it sinks in more and more as the weeks go on.  This retreat was a great thing, and as soon as it was over all the students were asking when we were going on the next one.  Looks like Steph and I have a big task of making the next one just as awesome!

Home

Hey guys,

Disclaimer here: If I did not see you in the last week it is not that I did not love you, it was that I only had a week and really wanted to spend it with the familia.

So I just got back from Oklahoma.  It was nice to see my family.  It has been a full year since I was home, and I figured it was time.  So the plan began to get home.  I bought my tickets like 2 months ago, and then began to count down the days to coming home.  Once it finally got here it did not really even seem real.

I finally arrived at Will Rogers Airport(which I still find it weird we have an airport named after someone who died in a plane crash!!!) and my mom picked me up.  The drive home was pretty uneventful.  Except when we hit Moore, once we got there my eyes were filled with the left over damage from the tornadoes.  I was glad that it was pretty cleaned up, because that means that Moore is moving on with life.  It was just interesting to see just so much open ground where buildings used to be.

Once I was home the Deb's kids had no idea I was coming home, so they were told that mom was going to get a surprise for them...of course they thought it was a puppy.  When I came inside they just started screaming and were so excited.  Then we told them that the next day we would be going to the zoo.  I had not been to the OKC zoo in forever so it was nice to go back, but it was a bit warm so lots of the animals were not out :(.  Even with that it was so much fun to go with the kids, and they even tried to touch the stingrays at Stingray Bay.

Our next big event was going to see my Grandma.  We had not told her either that I was coming.  So we met her in Tulsa for Cracker Barrel(which they have none of these in California!!! I knew these Californians were crazy) When Grandma saw me she was just like I knew it, and just hugged me all over.  It was nice to see her.  Of course we caused problems the whole time, and had everyone dying laughing from acting crazy.  It was kinda like old times.

my partners in crime!

The next amazing thing was getting to celebrate my sisters birthday! Now this may not seem like a big thing, but I have missed Deb's birthday for around 3 or 4 yrs.  Either I am leaving the country or moving to California.  So I decided I really wanted to be there for her birthday this year.  So to celebrate we went antique shopping in Guthrie.  Which is one of the things that me and my sister love to do, and we always find some awesome things.  On top of the awesomeness we also find lots things to laugh and joke about, such as an item that looks like it comes straight out of a torture dungeon.  The only downside to this day is lots of the shops were closed since the weekend before MUMFORD AND SONS has hosted a giant music festival (aka 35,000 people extra in Guthrie).  So most of the shop owners were trying to catch up on sleep.

One thing that I did was something that I have not done in forever!  I got up early to go to school.  I went to school with mom, since I wanted to say hey to a lot of teachers from CCS that have changed my life.  I ended up getting to spend a few hours up there talking and just enjoying the time in the school

One of the last awesome things that happened was getting to see my Memaw.  This woman is so much fun to chill with.  She just keeps you laughing the whole time!  She is an awesome person.  We did not do anything crazy just sat and watched some TV and chatted.  She did take us to eat some Chinese food, which is a great family tradition.  Me and Deb just love giving her a hard time, and she gives it right back.

Well that is about it...I know other things happened, but if I gave you a blow by blow then you would have stopped reading forever ago!  I loved getting to see the people that I did see, and wished that I could have seen a lot more people.  Thank you to all that have supported me in this time of training, and I pray that you will continue to support me through even more years.

Silence

I know you are shocked and amazed right now...you did not have to wait a month before I wrote an update.  So since you already know what is up with my life I will get right into the new info.

So this last Friday was a very interesting day for me.  I have been in a class where we are studying Spiritual Practices and Tradition of the Christian church.  So we have looked at St Patrick, St Francis, and many others.  One thing that has been common among all the people that we have looked at so far has been they take long periods of silence to pray and hear from God.  So we were going to do the same!

So on Friday we went to Mater Dolarosa which is a monastery in the next town over.  We arrived at 9am, and knew that it would be a long day!  We were told that this was going to be a silent retreat, and we could only talk if we felt we had too.  We were given some basic instructions of where things on the ground were and then we started.  The monastery had some things set up to help people pray through some things, and also just lovely grounds to enjoy nature.

I started praying and walking through their Stations for the Cross.  I took my time trying to hear from God, and was feeling silence.  I started to feel frustrated.  Why had I come out there if I was not going to hear anything.  Then the next thing that happened made me even more frustrated.  I started to feel extremely weak.  I hit a point that I did not even think I could stand.  I kept praying and asking why God was doing this.

I finally got sat down in the grass.  Then the word WEAKNESS kept coming to my head.  I kinda hate that word.  I never like feeling weak.  I know that everyone is not a big fan, but it is something that I will avoid at all cost.  I feel like I have to be the strong one in most situations(even though I am not).  I hate feeling like I don't have the answers to questions.

So I started to pray, and looking into the Word about what the Lord said about weakness.  I was sure that I was going to find that weakness was bad, and that I should do everything to get rid of it.  Instead I found the opposite.  I found so many verses that talked about weakness as a way to show the Lord to the world.  It was this mind blowing thing that this whole time I had been fighting against weakness and now the Lord was saying it is OK to be weak.  So now I am having to let go of my desire to always be strong.  Once I started praying and asking for the Lord's help I felt fine again, and in fact walked around for most of the rest of the day.

This has been a great week, and I am glad that the Lord had such a great message for me!  Thanks for reading and caring for me!  

Oh the Honey Badger!

So right now I am sitting at a cafe called the Honey Badger.  I am suppose to be studying with some of my friends...but as you can see that is not happening.  I realized that I have not updated in a while, and so what is the best way to not do homework...do something else.  So here is an update on my life and where I am right now.

So the last time that I posted I was getting ready to move, and summer school was in full swing.  So I have moved into my new apartment!  I am loving it, and it is nice to have roomies around.  I am still getting used to having to think about my stuff being everywhere is not cool with roomies.  I have been pretty clean and am pretty surprised with myself.  I moved in about a month ago...wow how time flies...since then I have gotten almost everything unpacked and already had my first visitors.  Mellissa and JR Webster came to visit me for an evening on their way to San Diego.  It was nice to see some Oklahoman faces!  I have also gotten to start to think about decorating a new space.  I will try to post pictures sometime of the finished product.

I have also gotten a new job.  I am still working at Office Max, but I am now also working at my church.  I am a youth intern.  A friend and I will be running the youth group together.  It is a small stipend to help with a little bit of cost, but that is not what it is about.  I am getting to help these students see more about God and who they can be in God.  So now we are in full planning mode to get events going for our students.

I am also almost done with summer classes.  In two weeks I will go to my final class session and then just have work to turn in to my professors.  It is weird to think that in less than a month I will have my 1 year anniversary of moving to Pasadena.  It has been a huge adventure, but one that I would gladly do again if I had to to go back in time.  I have loved getting to see what God has in this next year, which will hopefully be my final year in Grad school! The classes I have ahead of me will be super challenging, but I am excited and ready for them.

Thanks for reading and I hope you have a great day!

One Month Ago

So one month ago I had surgery.  It is hard to believe that is was a month ago.  So much has happened in that time.  Life has seemed to knock me around a bit, but in the end I am still standing.  I don't think that I can ask for much more right now.

***WARNING****
This might be a long blog...you may want to get a snack first, go to the bathroom, take a nap, or just get comfy and read on.

So after surgery I had people staying with me for the first few days.  It was nice to be able to ask for help anytime that I needed it.  Then the day came that I had to go it alone.  At first I was a bit worried, but started to find my pace.  This pace that I thought I found was a bit faster than I should have been going.  Within less than a week I was running around town like nothing had happened.  I would smile and keep going, but often was extremely sore.  I should have stayed home!

After trying to keep up for a bit I finally stayed home.  I was relaxing and enjoying the slow life.  I just would watch Netflix and do the occasional bit of homework.  All of my professors gave me extensions to get my work in late, so of course like any good Grad student  I would wait to the last minute to turn it in.  I am proud to say that I did get everything turned in and my professors even thanked me!

Things were moving along well.  My arm was healing faster, and I started feeling ready to go back to work.  Then I get a call from my mom one day.  It was in the middle of the day when she should have been in school.  I got a little worried once I saw her number because she normally does not call during school.  My mind began to race through all the things that could be wrong.  I say hello, and she tells me that there is a big tornado on the ground and Deb was at home with some family that was visiting and with no power.  Mom wanted me to call her to let her know what the weather was doing.

So I quickly logged onto News 9, and pulled up Gary England to hear what he was saying.  The minute I looked at the radar I knew my family was OK.  Then I began to see pictures of Moore.  A place that I still feel like is home.  I saw building that I had gone to or spent time in just destroyed.  This was the first time that a large storm had ever moved through and I was not there.

I did not know what to feel.  Everyone that lives here knew about it, but most had never been through something like this.  They did not know what to say.  I started feeling slightly out of place.  When my phone rang I hoped that it would be news that it was not real, and that it was all a big hoax.  That call never came, but the calls that did come were so and so is missing or so and so is gone or so and so lost their house or the best so and so lost everything but they are OK.  It seemed daily that these calls came in.  Part of me was so happy to get them.  I felt like I was connected back home when I was so far away.

I started to think about quitting my job, and doing my classes online so that I could come home for the summer.  I then remembered that I could not afford to do that since I would have to pack up all my stuff and move it home with me.  I had to be OK with the fact that I was here and not there.

Over the next few weeks I just keep pushing myself to not think about things.  I had to get my work in, and everyone here had already moved on.  Why was I still so upset?  I would hear anything about Moore, and break down in tears.  I just wanted to be there to help.

In this time I also found out that my apartment I have been staying in was not going to be covered by financial aid this next year.  I was stressed and pulled in so many different ways.  I just wanted to feel like things were normal again, but nothing I did helped.

I am extremely thankful for the church family that God has provided to me this year.  I had many girls from the group come to pray for me, and my whole church had a prayer time during one service to pray for all those that had been in the storm.  I could not ask for better encouragement.  I even got an opportunity to share at the youth group about what was going on(looks like I am going to start helping in the youth group all the time)...they did a bake sale and raised $52 to send to the Red Cross :)

I just did not know how much more that I could take this quarter.  Finals were coming up and medical bills were starting to come in.  I was really worried if this quarter would be the end of me in seminary.  Then I realized something that should have struck me the first day, God had a plan for me being here and not there.  He knew that I would struggle through all of this, and he put things in place to help me make it.  He has provided a new place for me to stay starting July 1st that will be $200 cheaper, but I will be getting a much nicer place.  He has also made it where I might be able to come home in September.

If you have made it this far I applaud you!!! You have just a bit more, but the subject is going to change so feel free to take an intermission and come back after you are ready.

So lately I have been thinking about missions and ministry.  For so long I have been so focused on getting done at school and getting back overseas ASAP.  While right now that is still the plan, I have been thinking about some things that have been preached on in church.  We have been talking about Acts and the men that God used in that book.  Paul of course was one of them.  I always saw Paul as the ultimate missionary.  These sessions at church have been talking about the timeline of Paul's life.  He did not leave on a mission trip as soon as he had sight again.  Instead he waited, and we know very little about that time in his life.  Then he finally goes out and does not seem to stop.

I think for me I have had the thought that if I don't go out to India as soon as school is out that I will let others down.  That they will believe that I maybe was not truly called to do ministry.  I had this fear that I had to prove that the Lord wanted to use me.  One of the other men that we talked about was Moses. (yes I know he is not in Acts) that he had to wait for 40 years before God used him for the purpose that was meant for his life.

Like I said right now I still am thinking the plan is to go out to India ASAP, but now I have begun to ask myself more about that.  Why am I wanting to go back that quickly?  Is it me or God leading?  Those are things that I am working through right now.  I know that I am called to India, but the question is when.

I think this has been even more pushed into my mind due to the fact that this week I have been writing papers about India, and serving there full time.  Also I have a group of friends that are leaving for India for a short term trip.  I just want to jump in their bags to go back.  I have to remember that God is the guide and not I.  I have ministry that I can be doing here, and I need to do them with all my heart and not with half of it in India.

Well if you have made it this far I am giving you a standing ovation!!!!  Thank you for taking the time to listen to my mind and fears and joys.  I hope that you guys are doing great!  Thanks for caring for me and know that I care for you as well.