Be an Owner not a Renter

This last weekend our church hosted a conference called Impact.  The focus of the conference was to help us to see how we can impact SoCal.  We had speakers from our 5 sister churches get up to share about this idea.

I think the concept that really stuck with me was the idea of being a renter vs being an owner.  I have lived most of my life in rental homes, and so I am very aware of what it is like to be a renter.  You often are not as concerned with the condition of your home, unless it is something that inconveniences you personally.  You are willing to overlook some of those cracks and dents in the walls, the slight slope on your floor, or even if an outlet is not working.  As a renter you are not concerned because you know that it will be a place you will at some point leave.

Now I am not saying that if your are a renter you don't care at all, but certain things do not bother you as quickly.  You do not jump to fix every tiny things in your home.  You sometimes let things slide.

Because of the Lord's goodness I have also had the privilege of getting to see my family own a home.  Home ownership changes the way you view things in your home.  Even the smallest of problems become something you want to fix.  This is due to the fact that this home is YOURS, you want the house to last since you might always live there.  You see the potential of the home if you take really good care of it.  That home becomes the place you make memories that will always be there, and you fill it with things that are important to you.  You even take out insurance to protect your stuff when you might not have when you were renting a home.

The message that was preached off this concept was pointing us to our own lives.  We often live our lives like we are renting the situation we live in. For example we go to Elementary school but are always prepping for middle school, then from middle school to high school, then from high school to college, then from college to job, while we are in that job maybe we are prepping for marriage, babies, or even a better job.  We are always moving toward the next big thing in our lives.

I am not saying that we should not look forward to the next great things that God wants for us, but this lifestyle often help us have excuses on why we do not get involved in our community or our world.  We give the excuse that we will do it later, or we will be able to serve better when we are more stable.  We just keep putting it off.

I think that really hit me hard.  I know that I have used that excuse more than once.  I am often a renter of a community, and not trying to act like an owner of the community.  If I was an owner I would get more excited about serving that community, and also be more passionate about getting involved in the problems of my community.

I know that right now we are in a time of humanity that there are so many causes that each of us know about to get involved with, and that can get overwhelming.  However how often are we asking what is happening in my own back yard?  The great thing about taking ownership of where God has you planted is that ownership will ripple out to others in the community, and then to their families then so on and so on.  When we thrive where God plants us we will see change in the greater world and community.

A great example of this is a woman named Henrietta Mears.  She decided to use her teaching skills to help grow her community in Hollywood.  She started helping run a Sunday School program at a church and from that program she saw over 400 people join Christian Service with one of the most famous being Billy Graham.  Her willingness to be an owner of her community help to raise up people who have had a much bigger impact.  She did not have to have special skills, she just used what God had already gifted her with.

I do believe that on top of supporting our Home community we are also to support the Global Community.  This might mean going physically and/or emotionally into some places that are not comfortable.  This might mean we have to stretch ourselves to stop being worried if it is safe or not.  God never promised us safety, in fact he promised us we would face hard things.  He loving told us that we would never walk in it alone, and he would walk with us.

This might mean being friends with someone who we scared/unsure of, or opening up to people you don't understand.  It might mean moving your family into a community that is not the best, but it is the place that God wants you.  Maybe that means you have to talk to that person at work that everyone ignores or shuns.

All this to say we have to be open to be the owners of the community locally and globally.  We have to open to God asking us to move or change our minds about what we hold dear.  Being open to loving people unconditionally no matter what they have to offer you or what you think of them.  Seeing yourself as the pastor of your community, job, and neighborhood.

The Lord Moves

In this last year God has been amazing!!!!  I mean He is always amazing, but this year I feel like I have seen God move so much more.  I know in some of my other post I have told you some of the things God has done.

In these last few weeks so many things have happened to remind me that God cares about the my small things.  He cares not only for my needs but also my wants.  He wants to give me things that make me happy and not just things that make me survive.

One big example is God provided me with a ticket to Disneyland and money to eat at Disney.  I never thought that I would have enough money to walk into Disney.  Being able to walk into the park was an amazing moment.

This is a big thing that God provided, but there have been countless little things that have reminded me of God love for me.  Just the other day I was driving and feeling a little down, and then out of the blue something pulled me out.  That thing was the smell of wood burning...it was super hot out so no one would be burning wood.  It was like a tiny reminder of feelings and emotions of joy and laughter.  Then not two seconds later was the smell of fresh cut wood, again one of my favorite smells.  It was 9:30 pm so I am pretty sure no one was cutting wood.

I was so surprised to smell both of those smells, and they only brought me joy in a time of feeling a little out of sorts.  These small moments help me to remember that I can always find moments of God love in the little things.

It makes me have faith for the big things.  This summer I am getting to go overseas to talk about God's grace and love.  I know that in this time I will get to see God move in amazing ways, and see His love for me just as much as His love for others.  I also know that the finance to go are in God's hands.  I am praying that God moves in the lives and hearts of those that give, and those that we will be sharing with. 

"Perfection"

So in the last few weeks I have begun to realize a few things about being an adult...I know, I know I have been an adult for a while, but I am a bit of a slow learner.

The thing that I have really been mulling over is the idea of being perfect.  I know in my own life I have struggled with feeling that I was not good enough because I am not perfect.  This plays out at times in my faith.

I have lived often feeling like I had to be the perfect Christian spending time with God everyday, always serving, and setting the perfect example for those around me.  While all of these things are very true, and I should strive for those things. The thing that has me thinking is many Christians do struggle with these things, but we often do not talk about it.

As I talk to some of my youth students I have begun to realize that at times the younger generation might not feel like they can closely follow God well, because they cannot attain this "perfection" that they believe they see.  As I began to think about it, I have also lived much of my life feeling and thinking the same thing.

I have looked at my own life, and think I couldn't be perfect like those around me.  Then I find myself comparing my own life and my own ability to the abilities of those around me.  I become discouraged in the fact that I am struggling when so many around me seem to have their lives together.

I think we as the church must challenge ourselves to open and honest, with those around us, about what we struggle with.  No this is easier said than done.  People are scared that they might be judged or pushed out for their honesty.  This is also where the church must show the same grace that that Lord showed us.

In this honest, we are not just sitting in our own mess, but trying to move forward in the things God has for us.  When we are honest in our community our community grows in trust.  We also see God moving in everyday ways.  It is great to hear the stories of God moving in crazy ways, at the same time it is great to see how God is moving in the day to day aspects of our lives.  We need to honest in the fact that we have not arrived, and that we struggle daily to follow our Lord.  We will never stop struggling in one way or another, but we will become stronger walking in faith with God.   

Life is slowing down!

So life has finally started slowing down!!! Since I moved to LA I have been working almost non-stop!  Last year I was working 4 different jobs at one point.  I have been pushing myself to get so much done in the last few years.

At the start of last week, I quit my job at Office Max and am now only working at the church.  I have been able to actually take some time for me, and to slow down to work at the church well.  I know that this season is going to have some difficult times, but these last few weeks have been great!

I know it has been a bit since I posted a blog, so let me give you a few updates so that you can see how great God is!

First like I said earlier is I am working at a church.  I have loved getting to work with the youth students in the youth group, and the challenges that have come with it!  Most of my students have grown up in the church, so it is challenging to sometimes help them see God in new ways.  The great thing is my students mainly want to learn, and they do have a pretty awesome understanding of God.

Second I am doing a Discipleship Training School (DTS) at my church.  This program is similar to the YWAM DTS program, but it is run through our church.  In this time was are walking as a class to help each other see God in great new ways, and to have a stronger commitment to what we have been called to.  I am excited to see what this school will bring in my life with God.  We are in the school for 9 months, and at the end of that we get to take a trip overseas to help us practice the things that God has been challenging us to.  I have not heard yet where I get to go, but I am excited to hear what God has in store.

Third I am doing a Discipleship House.  We are a group of 5 women living together and challenging each other to live healthy lives and to live in the way that God has called each of us.  In that we are pushing each other to walk out of any areas of our lives that are disconnecting us to God, and to encourage each other in the areas that we are strong!  I know that this is not a super normal situation to live in, but it has been amazing to see this community grow.  We are laughing, crying, and being open with each other.

I know you are done reading this and thinking this is a slowed down life?  This is a much slowed down life, and I am so excited for it!  Thank you so much for all your support in this time in my life, and I hope that you are all in great places with the Lord as well! 

I am enough!

So I know it has been a long time since my last post and tons has happened since then.  I will give you the quickie version before I go on with this post.

1)Went to India
2)Came home to California
3)Went to Oklahoma and Bought a car
4)Drove back to California
5)Got a job as the Youth Director at my church here in Pasadena, CA

Whew that was quick!  Now on to the real blog post.

So in the last few months I have been really dealing with the ideas of being enough for what God has called me to do.  This all stems from me looking at those doing ministry around me and seeing them doing much better.  It also comes from my skill set that God has graced me with. I sometimes wonder why God did not ask me to be a doctor or a scientist or a soldier or etc.  Why am I not something more valuable than an actor/artist?

I have found myself sitting around wondering if I should go back to school to do something more impressive, or something that can make a bigger impact on the world than just being an artist.  Then enter God stage right!

God has been reminding me that while those other jobs are amazing and awesome, what God has called me to is just as amazing and awesome.  What he has called me to is just as amazing because he has called me to them.  These other jobs are also great and amazing, but they are not my tasks.  They are the callings of those that are equipped  for them.

That is not to say that I could not do those jobs, but I am not fully equipped to do that work.  I think this is something that all Christians need to be reminded of.  I sometimes fear that we push some jobs to the front, and almost consider them better.  The thing is that we are all called by God, and that we are not doing any of these jobs in our own strength.  We are all depending on God to see the success that we have.  The only part of this process that should be gaining the glory is God alone.

We as the Church need to remind each other that all of our jobs are important, and challenge the stereotype that says some jobs are better.  We need to celebrate the victories of all the body, and we need to stand next to those struggling.  This does not mean that we are all called to be the same, but we are called to support the body fully no matter the job they have.

Alone am not enough, but the Lord says "I am enough."  We need to surrender to that and allow God to work in the gifts and skills he has given us.

I know I'm late...

Hey all,
    So I know that I have been in South Asia for almost 4 weeks and have yet to update you on my life.  I know that you have all been waiting for so long for this, and you almost could not live without hearing about my time here.  I will try to keep it brief, and then you can ask me for more info if you want.

   My trip here was very uneventful.  The team arrived safe and sound, and we started right to work.  On most of our days we had language lessons, and meetings about what to expect in the culture.  We also started learning about storytelling, and how it has been used in the world to talk about the Lord.  I loved getting to learn storytelling, and even got to create my own story.  We also had many other tasks to work on.  One of the most amazing was going to a leprosy colony to help clean wounds of those living there.  I was excited to do something very tangible to help.

    After two weeks in that part of the country we moved on to our next location aka "where I am now".  Our team has been working on getting training materials ready for workers here.  Some of the workers are taking on extra training to be able to do their jobs better/quicker so we are helping make the tools needed.  We have also gotten more language lessons so that we can better communicate with those in this culture.  The time that we have been in this city has been great, and helped to truly show what it would be like to live in South Asia long term.

   One thing that we have/will get to see in both of these cities is the translation of the Word of God.  We have even gotten to meet with some people that are sacrificing everything to translate the Word into a language that needs it.

   We will be in this city for a few more days then we will head on to our last location.  There we will spend some time debriefing, and taking time to evaluate the wonderful skills that we have picked up on this trip.  There is so much more that has happened, but I know that you guys have lives outside of my blog.  So please return to your houses and be of good cheer.  If you want to see photos of this adventure just check out my Facebook page. https://www.facebook.com/mel.s.chambers

It's the Final Countdown!

So right now I am sitting in my last class on the Pasadena campus of Fuller Theological Seminary.  I have spent the last two years running around sometimes like a chicken with my head cut off.  I have pushed myself to the edge at time, and then had some loving friends shove me away from that edge.

The class that I am sitting in is the Capstone course for my program, so it is the summation of everything that I have learned.  It is interesting to see how far the thoughts I have had about God have changed over the last few years. (disclaimer: I still know and trust God, and all my new thoughts are extremely Biblical)

In much of my life I have had a very small view of God enough though I have seen God move in such mighty ways.  I in some degree have felt that I could control situations better than God could.  I would say that I was trusting Him, but then in truth I was leaning on the things that I knew.  I just thought that I was giving my all so that any situation I was in would work out.

In the last few years God has lovingly put things in my path to prove me wrong.  Nothing he put there was super overwhelming, but it was just enough to push my buttons of control.  I needed to be reminded that I did not have the ability to fix anything on this Earth without the power of God in me.  This brings me to a new truth that I am having to cling onto: "I cannot fix things, only creator God can fix his Creations."

I am having to remind me that I am walking in the light of God, and not the light of Mel.  When I try to walk in the light of Mel then I always find myself at the edge trying to not fall off.  At that time I normally run directly to God and start freaking out that I am feeling alone and lost.  However God was there the whole time standing with me.  He allowed me to walk somewhat blinded, but always with a buffer of protection from Him.  Sometimes that buffer was my friends that kept me in line with God, or sometimes it was those times of suffering that brought me back.

I have been so challenge by this idea.  I love that God has always brought people into my life to show me more of God's love for me.  I know that I still have tons to learn, and know that I will be learning the rest of my life.  I am so excited to say that I am loving God even more daily, and walking more boldly and confidently in Him.

So here is a photo of some of my friends I am graduating with, and that have fed into my life.

Thank you for being willing to read my musings, and sometimes my ramblings in life.  I am excited to be finishing my last quarter on campus, and then I will officially finish next quarter after my time in South Asia.  I will then be seeing God move in great ways.

Artist

As many of you know I am an artist.  I have become very skilled at the art form that I practice, but I have recently started practicing a new art.  The art of not knowing!  I have been practicing this art a lot lately, and I am not sure I am getting any better at it.

"So what projects are you working on?" I hear you ask.  Well first it is where to live after school if over.  I am officially done with school at the end of August, and I have no idea what is coming next.  I have so many options that could or could not work, and lots of places that I could go.  I am trying to decide where to live, and what I am wanting to do when I grow up.  This is not something that is extremely overwhelming, but it is something that I find difficult to deal with.

I have so many factors that are at play in all these situation.  I love and miss my family, but I know that California might have more job options.  Oklahoma is cheaper.  California is where I have been doing ministry, and have a youth group I am extremely invested in.  There is so many options that options begin to just blend together.

Then many of you may not know but I have also been having some weird medical issues.  It has been going on for almost 3 months now, and we have not been able to have any answers.  Every test they have done has come back normal.  All the doctors keep saying that "they don't see anything wrong, but obviously there is something wrong."  I am having to keep waiting it out to find out what is going on.  I find myself to often on WebMD trying to see what I might have***disclaimer*** Never do this because you just feel like you are about to die right then and there***disclaimer***

With all this waiting I am having to just sit in it.  I can't make a plan or decide a path because all of these things play into each other.  I have to trust that God knows what is going on, and that I will come out stronger on the other side.  I know that God has a plan!  I just sometimes wish he would be willing to give me a map ahead of time, but since he has not I just have to wait it out.

I know that you are for me!

So this last week in church we began to speak about the idea of our identity in Christ.  This is something that I was sure I was pretty confident in for myself.  I knew that I had the love of God in me, and that I am being led by him daily.

As our pastor(who is pretty awesome) began to share about how we can have an identity in Christ, but at the same time since we live in a fallen world our identity of ourselves can be off from how God sees us.  I thought that I knew this, but it seemed as the service went on I did not know that.  I was beginning to see that from things that happened in my life and family have made me not really know how my Father God sees me.

In the Response time we began singing the song I Know That You are For Me (if you have not heard check it out  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_35gB76xV_Y).  In the chorus it begins to remind us that God is for us and that He will never leave us even in our weakness.  That hit me so hard!  I just began to weep and not really understanding what was wrong, because I thought I knew who I was in Christ.

It was then that I realized that for whatever reason I feel like God is just waiting for a reason to give up on me.  I know in my head that He would never do that, but in my heart at times I just feel like God waiting for me to mess up enough so He can walk away.  As I sang the words "I know that you are for me", I began to realize that God is truly for me.  That He is fighting for me, and standing in my place for the battles that I am facing.

This is such a striking thing to me.  I have no idea what in my past has told me that I have to prove my worth to God, but something has done that.  It had me thinking more about do I truly understand the identity that I was given God, and how the identity that the world has given me changes my view of God.  I know that this is something that will not change overnight, but it is something that I have to keep chewing on.

Then the Lord also loves to show me that he does fight for me by providing.  As many of you know I have been trying to raise funds to get to South Asia this summer, and it has been a bit stressful to get that money in.  I have felt like the money was just slowly coming in, and it was never all going to get in.  Then in just a few days God has moved people to give and brought in the 50% that was needed by today.  I just feel like I need to have these reminders that the Lord is for me!

waiting...

Can I just say that waiting is one of the things that stresses me out the most.  I am not talking about waiting in line, but I am talking about waiting for things to come together.  I know that I am not alone in this, but sometimes it feel like I am.

Why is this an issue you might ask...well I am in this stage of waiting.  I am graduating school in June and still have no idea what is coming next in life.  Also I am trying to get to South Asia, but having to wait on God to provide the funds to go.  In recent days I have felt like I am just doing nothing except going to school.

In my normal methods at this point I would be furiously planning and making hundreds of back up plans.  This planning is something that I am good at, but it has been pointed out to me recently that my planning was becoming an idol.  I was doing the planning more than anything else including going to God for the plans at times.

So after some very wise council I have been taking a planning fast...I have to be reminded daily that while I am not planning God still has a plan in the works.  When I look at the amount of funds that have come in for my trip is only 10% of what I need by June, I have to be reminded that God is still working.  I have no idea how or what God is going to do to make all of these future plans work, but I have to have faith that it is going to work.  So now God is helping me learn to wait on Him and those around me to see what God has for me.

It's Official!

So officially I have been accept for my practicum site in South Asia!!!  I had a phone interview with the company on Wednesday, and then got my official acceptance on Thursday.  Now all that is left to figure out is how to pay the $5000 that it will cost in the next few months.

The thought of money got me thinking about the provision of God.  In the past, every time that I have needed to raise fund God has always provided.  However every time I get a new thing that needs fund I freak out about the money.  I get worried that I will commit to something then the money not come through.  Even in talking to people about my trip I almost always will mention something about needing to figure out money.

Then a great theologian and an amazing friend of mine named Stephanie Obad preached a great message at youth group this last Friday.  In our youth group we have been going through the book of Matthew since the beginning of December.  We have really been engaging with the text and what it means to us in our everyday lives.  This week's message was covering Matthew 14-15.  One of the things that really hit me from Steph's message is that the disciples brought what they did not think was enough, and God made it exactly what they needed and even more.

That just amazed me!  I have heard this story a million times, but to realize that I will never have enough in myself yet God still wants me.  He wants my lack of ability.  He want to take the things that I fail at and make them wonderful works of his hand.

So still I am sitting here thinking I have no idea where this money is going to come from, but I know that I can give it to God.  This is not saying that I don't have to put some effort in, but it is saying that I do not have to sit and worry all day about the money.  I can rest in the grace of the Lord because He will not let me fall beneath the waves just like He did not let Peter fall when he was trying to walk on water. 

The Lord Changes My Plans

So as you can guess this blog post is going to be about the Lord changing my plans.  So the plans that have been changed are the plans for my practicum site.  I have been avoiding going overseas for my practicum.  I wanted to stay Stateside, and most likely in California.  For the last 2 months I have been searching high and low for a practicum site.  I wanted to find something also using the arts since that is my focus in school.  It seemed like every site that I would propose did not fit the criteria for our practicums here at school.

About 4 weeks ago I started feeling like God said that I should be doing my practicum overseas.  I tried to ignore this fact, and kept looking domestically.  However every corner I turned just lead me back to international travel.  This fact scares me a bit because of the finances that will be needed to go overseas, and that I would need the funds by mid-June.

Well I finally gave in,and started to look at international practicum sites.  I was not really finding anything that had to do with the arts until I came across the Wycliffe Bible Translators website.  I had seen them before with using music in ministry, but that is not really my background.  However they have now added a new portion to their work which is an Art Consultant.  They allow artist of any kind to see how their art form will work in ministry.  So I have just put in my application to go to South Asia with them.  What exactly is South Asia you may ask...well here is a map for you.

In this trip we will be travelling by train to 3 major cities.  We will be getting training in Storytelling and Linguistics.  Both of these are extremely important since most of the unreached people groups do not have a written language or most of the population are illiterate.  I am hoping to hear back from them soon, and then just praying that God helps provide the funds.  I know that this trip will never happen without God working great miracles.  I will let you guys know once I know more, but one thing that I would appreciate is if you would be willing to pray for this trip/me.

The Haves and Have Nots

So lately I have been thinking about the idea of having and not having.  This idea is a truth in our world that we all must face.  All of us have things that we do or don't have case closed.  I think however that we spend so much time thinking on what we don't have instead of what I see as the more logical of haves.

Why are we so obsessed with this idea of not having something.  Often in the First World the things that we are obsessing over having are not things that we need, but things that we desire.  I know that it is not bad to have desires, but I think the problem begins when we are so caught up in those desires that we forget the blessings that we already have.  Even if you are relatively poor in the United States you will have much more than those around the world.

I am not saying that we should all be hermits and just live off the land.  I am saying to we need to reexamine our own lives for our priorities.  If we are sitting there complaining that things don't go our way, then asking ourselves does it really have to go that way?  If we are given something but it is not really what we wanted, should we be upset about that or be happy with the gift?

These things on this earth that we amass are meaningless in the grand scheme of things.  How is it that a child in deepest poverty in another part of world can be sooo happy, but a child here in the United States can be so upset with having so much.  I know that this is a much bigger issue than this, and this tiny blog post does not even touch the surface.  These are things that have just been rumbling in my head.

I also know that I am guilty of this same thing that I am complaining.  When I saw how much my tax return would be my first thoughts were not how could I use this money to do good, but it was how can I spend it on myself.  I need to keep asking these question and know that there may not be an easy answer that can fix all things.

Poverty

So I just finished another Quarter of my seminary career!!!!!  It is hard to believe that by August I will be done and ready to move on to whatever the Lord has for me.  This whole things called my life has been an adventure, and I hope that it never ends being one.  One of the things that I love about seminary is that I often get to write papers over things that I am very passionate about.  Here is one of the those topics (don't worry I am not posting my whole paper, just the highlights)

So I wrote on the churches responsibility in poverty, and this is a subject that I thought I knew a lot about.  I have been on both sides of the coin, and have loved to see how God has provided in that.  One of the things in the research for my paper that was "Do the poor feel welcome in your church?"

My first reaction was of course, most churches I have attended have always been open to the poor.  Then I continued to read...the next major question was "Does everything that you do at your churches ask people to spend money to do it?"  It could be asking people to pay a fee, bring food, or a donation.  This struck me that often that is what we do.  If we as a body are going to hang out often it is going to eat together, or doing some type of activity together that you have to pay to get in.

If a person is in poverty, then can they fully participate in the body's activities without having the means to pay for the events.  This helps perpetuate the cycle that they do not always belong.  That they just don't really fit in. Now I know no church is actually saying that, but it is what it can cause for those in poverty.

So what is the answer, I thought ohhhhh well offer scholarships, or discounted rates for big events to help them feel like they can come.  Then as I read even more and also thought back over my own life, it is not fun having to go ask for a scholarship because I can't afford something.  There are times I would just rather not go than to ask for that kind of help.  It is hard for some that at every event they have to ask for the discount. This can again continue the idea that you are not really a part of the body.

This got me thinking there has to be a solution...however I don't know what it would be.  This topic of poverty stretches across more than just the church.  We however sometimes sit by and watch it happen.  We as the body should be reaching out to those in need in any way that we can.  Even though we may not cancel every event that has a fee to it, maybe we could work on having events that are free.  This means that there will be extra planning or even extra budgeting, but I think that it is something that we need to work on to better serve those in need.

Ok stepping off my soap box :)

I hope that you are having a wonderful holiday season, and that you see the Lord move in great ways.  He is so big and has so much in store for us when we run to him.

PS here is a pic of me and a friend.  I baked him cookies for finals week.

"Don't blame us...blame the consumer"

Be prepared....here come a bit of a rant!


Ok so the title of this blog post is something that I actually heard said at a meeting for my work.  I just found out this week that I will be working on Thanksgiving Day and Black Friday.  I don't have to go in til the evening on Thanksgiving and in the afternoon on Black Friday  but still.  I just don't understand this mentality that we have to spend all kinds of money on gift that most people will not use that often.

I think another thing that I have heard lately that interest me is that on Thanksgiving we spend all day saying what it is we are thankful for, but then we spend that night being greedy and mean hearted.  Now I know this is not everyone, but really it is a large number of people.  Why oh why must we be so concerned with keeping up with the latest trends and toys.  Just by the fact that we are called consumers show that all we do is consume.  We are constantly trying to consume more of what is around us.  This covers a wide gambit of things, but just stuff in general.

I know that for some families this is part of their Thanksgiving traditions, but in the end would it be better to be home enjoying company?  I just don't understand this mentality in any way shape or form.  I know that some people will say that "well I am doing it to save money", but is that the real reason?  Or is the reason that we cannot stand to think that someone else got the better deal on the same product?

 I just think that this idea that we have to get the best deal sometimes is rooted in greed.  "I want the best product for the cheapest price!"  I believe that as American's specifically we have gotten so used to the fact that we can get anything and everything when we want it, that we feel that we have the right to want it cheap. I think sometimes that in this desire to want it cheap we forget to look at the cost for that cheap item.  So like these sales at Thanksgiving, while people are making the conscious choice to go shopping; the people working at that shops have no choice.  At my work, it is next to impossible to get Thanksgiving and Black Friday off.  I am pretty sure I would have to die, or someone close to me die to not have to work.  So while the consumer is getting savings, the employees are missing out of family time.

I think my challenge to all is look at why we are choosing to shop on Thrifty Thanksgiving(my own term) and Black Friday.  Is that savings really worth it?  The consumer is the one that tells the stores if they should be open or not.  If consumers demand it, the companies will gladly supply.  Could we as a people give up on our own desire to have what we want for the price we want, so that others may enjoy the Holiday time with their family and friends?

Sorry for the rant!  I just get going sometimes, and need to get it out.  I hope you all have a blessed holiday season, and know that if you still choose to go shopping on these days I don't think you are a bad person.  I love you all, and hope that my rant has given some food for thought if nothing else.

And your middle name is insanity right?

So today I was talking to a fellow student about our schedules.  When he heard my schedule he asked "and your middle name is insanity right?"  I know that I take on a fair bit, but I guess that I just never notice that I am pushing myself.  I think that it has just always been a piece of my life.  Just so that you guys understand why this comment was made I will give you a brief overview of my schedule.

per week work hours=15
per week class/homework hours=36
per week meeting/intern hours=15
Total =66 hour week(with some changes week to week)

When this schedule was brought to my attention at first I kept thinking that is not that bad, but as the weeks pushed on I started to realize how much work this is.  I often feel like I maybe pushing myself too far.  Then all of a sudden I realize that even though I am tired at times, I still normally have enough energy to keep pushing me forward.  I truly believe that is God, because there is no way that I could have this energy without him.

I love to see the way that the Father provides at times, because of course our normal idea would be that he took away some of the activities so that I have time to rest more.  However his method of providing is in the way of energy.  Also he provides people that can encourage me, and to check on me when I feel like I cannot push anymore.  There are times that I do think that it would just be easier to take things off my plate, but I know that these are all things that the Lord has asked of me.  If I stay in him then I will be able to keep moving toward the work of the Lord.

I think that it is just amazing that the Lord has great knowledge to know what we need and when we need it.  This is something that we have to remember because if we don't it is easy to get pushed down into the darkness of the world.  Even if you plan looks great on paper, if God's plan is different than yours...you should go with his.  I have to remind myself of that daily, that fight God is never a good plan.

Youth Retreat!

So if you have not heard yet I am now interning at my church as a youth leader!  I am getting to work with my awesome friend Steph Obad, and with some awesome students.  Our youth group is mainly Jr High boys so it just makes it an interesting group.  Well this last weekend we took them on the first ever youth retreat.

We decided to go to Steph's parents house which is 5 hrs North of LA.  They live on a cattle ranch, and let us camp out in their pasture.  For some of our kids it was their was a very new experience to camp, and for most it was the first time they had spent time on a ranch.  We were glad to get them out of their norm, and to help with that we banned all electronics from the trip(except for sponsors' phones)

We did the whole camping experience including smores and worship around a bonfire.  On Saturday, we had a friend of Steph and I come to work with the kids and Steph's horse.  This friend has a ministry that she works with horses and kids to help them understand more about God.  It also helped them understand more about themselves.

In this retreat, Steph and I wanted to start having the kids learn more about their identity in God, and that they are image bearers of God.  Our kids seemed to get it at least some, and we just pray that it sinks in more and more as the weeks go on.  This retreat was a great thing, and as soon as it was over all the students were asking when we were going on the next one.  Looks like Steph and I have a big task of making the next one just as awesome!

Home

Hey guys,

Disclaimer here: If I did not see you in the last week it is not that I did not love you, it was that I only had a week and really wanted to spend it with the familia.

So I just got back from Oklahoma.  It was nice to see my family.  It has been a full year since I was home, and I figured it was time.  So the plan began to get home.  I bought my tickets like 2 months ago, and then began to count down the days to coming home.  Once it finally got here it did not really even seem real.

I finally arrived at Will Rogers Airport(which I still find it weird we have an airport named after someone who died in a plane crash!!!) and my mom picked me up.  The drive home was pretty uneventful.  Except when we hit Moore, once we got there my eyes were filled with the left over damage from the tornadoes.  I was glad that it was pretty cleaned up, because that means that Moore is moving on with life.  It was just interesting to see just so much open ground where buildings used to be.

Once I was home the Deb's kids had no idea I was coming home, so they were told that mom was going to get a surprise for them...of course they thought it was a puppy.  When I came inside they just started screaming and were so excited.  Then we told them that the next day we would be going to the zoo.  I had not been to the OKC zoo in forever so it was nice to go back, but it was a bit warm so lots of the animals were not out :(.  Even with that it was so much fun to go with the kids, and they even tried to touch the stingrays at Stingray Bay.

Our next big event was going to see my Grandma.  We had not told her either that I was coming.  So we met her in Tulsa for Cracker Barrel(which they have none of these in California!!! I knew these Californians were crazy) When Grandma saw me she was just like I knew it, and just hugged me all over.  It was nice to see her.  Of course we caused problems the whole time, and had everyone dying laughing from acting crazy.  It was kinda like old times.

my partners in crime!

The next amazing thing was getting to celebrate my sisters birthday! Now this may not seem like a big thing, but I have missed Deb's birthday for around 3 or 4 yrs.  Either I am leaving the country or moving to California.  So I decided I really wanted to be there for her birthday this year.  So to celebrate we went antique shopping in Guthrie.  Which is one of the things that me and my sister love to do, and we always find some awesome things.  On top of the awesomeness we also find lots things to laugh and joke about, such as an item that looks like it comes straight out of a torture dungeon.  The only downside to this day is lots of the shops were closed since the weekend before MUMFORD AND SONS has hosted a giant music festival (aka 35,000 people extra in Guthrie).  So most of the shop owners were trying to catch up on sleep.

One thing that I did was something that I have not done in forever!  I got up early to go to school.  I went to school with mom, since I wanted to say hey to a lot of teachers from CCS that have changed my life.  I ended up getting to spend a few hours up there talking and just enjoying the time in the school

One of the last awesome things that happened was getting to see my Memaw.  This woman is so much fun to chill with.  She just keeps you laughing the whole time!  She is an awesome person.  We did not do anything crazy just sat and watched some TV and chatted.  She did take us to eat some Chinese food, which is a great family tradition.  Me and Deb just love giving her a hard time, and she gives it right back.

Well that is about it...I know other things happened, but if I gave you a blow by blow then you would have stopped reading forever ago!  I loved getting to see the people that I did see, and wished that I could have seen a lot more people.  Thank you to all that have supported me in this time of training, and I pray that you will continue to support me through even more years.

Silence

I know you are shocked and amazed right now...you did not have to wait a month before I wrote an update.  So since you already know what is up with my life I will get right into the new info.

So this last Friday was a very interesting day for me.  I have been in a class where we are studying Spiritual Practices and Tradition of the Christian church.  So we have looked at St Patrick, St Francis, and many others.  One thing that has been common among all the people that we have looked at so far has been they take long periods of silence to pray and hear from God.  So we were going to do the same!

So on Friday we went to Mater Dolarosa which is a monastery in the next town over.  We arrived at 9am, and knew that it would be a long day!  We were told that this was going to be a silent retreat, and we could only talk if we felt we had too.  We were given some basic instructions of where things on the ground were and then we started.  The monastery had some things set up to help people pray through some things, and also just lovely grounds to enjoy nature.

I started praying and walking through their Stations for the Cross.  I took my time trying to hear from God, and was feeling silence.  I started to feel frustrated.  Why had I come out there if I was not going to hear anything.  Then the next thing that happened made me even more frustrated.  I started to feel extremely weak.  I hit a point that I did not even think I could stand.  I kept praying and asking why God was doing this.

I finally got sat down in the grass.  Then the word WEAKNESS kept coming to my head.  I kinda hate that word.  I never like feeling weak.  I know that everyone is not a big fan, but it is something that I will avoid at all cost.  I feel like I have to be the strong one in most situations(even though I am not).  I hate feeling like I don't have the answers to questions.

So I started to pray, and looking into the Word about what the Lord said about weakness.  I was sure that I was going to find that weakness was bad, and that I should do everything to get rid of it.  Instead I found the opposite.  I found so many verses that talked about weakness as a way to show the Lord to the world.  It was this mind blowing thing that this whole time I had been fighting against weakness and now the Lord was saying it is OK to be weak.  So now I am having to let go of my desire to always be strong.  Once I started praying and asking for the Lord's help I felt fine again, and in fact walked around for most of the rest of the day.

This has been a great week, and I am glad that the Lord had such a great message for me!  Thanks for reading and caring for me!  

Oh the Honey Badger!

So right now I am sitting at a cafe called the Honey Badger.  I am suppose to be studying with some of my friends...but as you can see that is not happening.  I realized that I have not updated in a while, and so what is the best way to not do homework...do something else.  So here is an update on my life and where I am right now.

So the last time that I posted I was getting ready to move, and summer school was in full swing.  So I have moved into my new apartment!  I am loving it, and it is nice to have roomies around.  I am still getting used to having to think about my stuff being everywhere is not cool with roomies.  I have been pretty clean and am pretty surprised with myself.  I moved in about a month ago...wow how time flies...since then I have gotten almost everything unpacked and already had my first visitors.  Mellissa and JR Webster came to visit me for an evening on their way to San Diego.  It was nice to see some Oklahoman faces!  I have also gotten to start to think about decorating a new space.  I will try to post pictures sometime of the finished product.

I have also gotten a new job.  I am still working at Office Max, but I am now also working at my church.  I am a youth intern.  A friend and I will be running the youth group together.  It is a small stipend to help with a little bit of cost, but that is not what it is about.  I am getting to help these students see more about God and who they can be in God.  So now we are in full planning mode to get events going for our students.

I am also almost done with summer classes.  In two weeks I will go to my final class session and then just have work to turn in to my professors.  It is weird to think that in less than a month I will have my 1 year anniversary of moving to Pasadena.  It has been a huge adventure, but one that I would gladly do again if I had to to go back in time.  I have loved getting to see what God has in this next year, which will hopefully be my final year in Grad school! The classes I have ahead of me will be super challenging, but I am excited and ready for them.

Thanks for reading and I hope you have a great day!